There's thαt occαsionαl night where you just breαk down .

That happens to be my brother, Nik (Current Age: 19)
&& my little Nephew, Andre (current Age: 2)
[ I think that was taken around a year ago..]
Nik, when court was coming up so he can go in jail
( for unkown reason. xD),
he skipped to go to Edmonton.
Go him.
He is currently living in a garage.
He WAS living on the streets starving because
his "friends" ditched him and came back.
They took his clothes and everything.
I heard while eating ribs and corn for dinner
[ *grins* ribs... : D ]
He's going to British Columbia..
I forget why.
Anyway -
My nephew, Andre.. yeah, he has his one eye glued shut .
Who's fault?
TARA'S! That's right. Wooo, good guess.
It's sadd;
-

I miss you. I do. I love you.
evberyday, I wake up and have this ache in my chest,
and sometimes I just sleep in because I know
when I wake up;
you're not going to be there.
++ One Tree Hill

-

So, I REALLy haven't written in awhile.
Everyime I come on [ everyday ]
I'm all " AH! BLOG .............. later."
It's insane.
So, you may not know.. that i'm doing this workshop thing
in order to find a summer (maybe longer. : D) job.
Go, me.
I was one of the 70 that were picked.. out of a 100 and
something. Go, me. I'm tired.
Anyway, It's cool.
I met a boy named Nathan and.. this other kid,
I forget his name,
And Trevor from English class is there.
Horrible.
He keeps looking over, xD
Everytime I see him, I wave.
I can't help it.. he looks away so quickly. LOL
Um, Calvin, Mark Woodall, Jake (Ryans friend),
and I met a girl named Sherri.
Oh ans Trevor's friend, Danny.
woot friends. xD
-

You fall in love with someone because of
the tilt of his smile,
or because he could make you laugh,
or in this case,
because he made you believe you
were the only one who could save him.

-
I also have summer school . : /
My first day was today,
for academic english. :)
I have a huge package and am doing
grade 12 work, basically.
Not that I mind or anything.
But I want to write stories.
I want to write poems and express feeling,
since my art work doesn't show it that much .
>.>
I'm reading a book called Crabbe .
I told Mattchew and he reminded us
of our crab, Henry .
He's our "pet" STD.
We, obviously, don't have an STD.
But it's funny .
We joke around saying,
"How's Henry?" : D
Kind of wierd but it's great .
If it actually happened, I'd be like
WHOA. OMG STFU WTF BBQ.
Just kidding.
Marc wrote that on my picture today . xD
Funny.
-

Every man needs a woman when his
life is mess,
because the queen protects the king, just
like in a game of chess.

-
I'm bored.
I'll say the rest next time.
About toronto .
&& Gary getting angry at me,
nearly kicking my door down . : O

BAHH ; ♥
-

Music has become my therapy,
as you no longer want to listen.
you're shoulder no longer there to lean on.
you left me all alone with my headphones.

-

for everyone who thinks they know me, I forgive youu.

I forgot the stars on the jacket. Gawd, I suck.

Lenalee, I messed up on her face.

She's pretty. I wish I was , *sigh*

Allen Walker.
I should start watching it again maybe.
Starting from episode 50 ?

'You are the best parts of all the songs I love.

Hi. I'm bad,I know.
Stealing pictures from Shiloh & Bayley. >.>
I was going to put a picture of Shiloh on here,

of her in a red dress and converse.

It looks so great.
I didn't know it was her.

: O

I like this one too .
I also took some quotes from Bayley.
I like them .

Men aren't stupid, and you don't need a complicated set

of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here's the

only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything

he can to keep you around. ANYTHING.

I feel a bit better since he's gone.
I mean, I'm not breaking down or
crying in the hallway or anything.
I think thats good. xD

Um, I don't him not to visit in August

so he can save his money . : D
Yeah, it'll be lonely,
But I'll be working and will have money

too . Then, thenn, THEN . : O
We can, after searching for a place for

him to live, go out for dinner or lunch

or even breakfast. >_>
I'd probably have to drag him out of bed then .
: )
I hope he can convince Damian or Mike to come

down so it'll be easier for Matthew to live here.

Plus, I'm actually kind of curious about the

people he hung out with before he met me.

He talks about them a lot.
I want to meet them . ^_^

I want to talk to Mike SO badly

because of a situation.
Gawd; T_T
It bothers me that I can't talk to him.
I want to help but Matthew said he wasn't

suppose to tell anyone.
So I can't say anything. : /

*sigh*
I can't say anything on here either. Dx

I refuse to because I don't know if this counts.

I know I'm not the best for you, but promise you'll stay.

Cause if I watch you go, you'll see me wasting,

you'll see me wasting.

++ Secondhand serenade

So, I had 3 assignments due in english.

An essay, Lord of the Flies Study Question

and a creative assignment which also has to be

presented. I did all of them.

And even volunteered to present today . : D
I picked the one where you write 5-8 poems.
I made 5.
My friend Heather did the Diary entries.

blah.

I have to do 3 other assignments for history.

the Isu on Terry Fox [ I'm doing the essay right now.

The stampp is finished.. almost], A war letter [ half way through]
And a memorial project.. [ havent started. xD]
All due this Friday which is sooo lame. : /

Oh, And I'm drinking Dr. Pepper. lol

You get a little moody sometimes.
but I think that's because you like to read.

People that like to read are always a little fucked up.

I drew some more pictures today during careers

in my little sketch book .
D.Gray man pics.
I'll upload them on the computer now and
put them on here.
They aren't that good though since I didn't
use pencil first. : /
They are overhead markers I think .
anyway ,
* currently uploading*
That took 5 minutes. : D
.. It won't upload to this section.
So, I'll post it in the nest blog. : D
Which I'll do right after I'm done here.
woot.

There's people making babies to my music.
That's nice.
++Barry White

Oh and my mum had a talk to Gary
about mistreating me and stuff like that
because a bit ago I went to hand out resumes
and I don't her I hated him
and that i'm so moving out when i'm 16.
So she freaked out on Gary telling him
stuff like,
" I only have one child left!"
Meaning my sister being.. not alive
and my brother being fucked up with
the police and stuff.
and etc.
yep yep yep .

Anyway,
Essay time.♥

She had a history of killing herself,

I had a habit of dying.
I think she gave me something to live for,

I guess I helped her pass time.

'the worst thing is holding onto someone who doesn't wαnt to be held onto.

If you look closely at the picture.
On my right cheek .
There is a dark spot.
It's not a smudge on your screen ..
..It's my eyeliner that transferred off my hands. Dx
thought I'd let you knoww .

It's true, we don't know
what we've got until it's gone,
but we don't know
what we've been missing until it arrives.

So I finished watching a CSI.
It ended at 8pm.
About an old lady who was locked in
her closet, alive.
She died of dehydration I think they said.
Then Grissom [ ♥ ] and the team connected
that case with another one where
a 16-year-old girl gets gang raped.
She gets murdered at the end .
Tragic really .
Made me ponder about things .
I'm not telling .
It's embarassing . >_<

Cracks in the concrete are just
little reminders that you'll fall apart
no matter how strong you are .

Oh. Matthew phoned me last night.
annd anndd. *blushes*
>_____<
Other than the fact he loves me : D ;
He told me to go up to Timmins.
for a week or two, depending on what
my mum would say .
I hope my mum says yes.
I really want to see him for more than a couple days.
I want him to save money for an apartment too .
It would be so great.
When he invited me, I got so happy -
I think my heart skipped a beat.
But I don't know what his mother thinks of me .
I was too depressed to put anything on my blog
so I didn't write anything but,
The day he was leaving..
I woke up at 7am to bake cookies.
Around 8:30 or so , my mum and I
left to go to the pet store and the dollar store
to hold the cookies in for his trip .
I baked DOZENS of peanut butter cookies.
Anyway,
At his house, we talked.
I cried. He comforted me. I cried more.
Because I'm lame. ahaa .
So when his mommy [ Marjory ]
And his aunt came .
I helped him put his stuff in their goldish van.
They took me our for dinner/lunch at Northway .
It was really awkward.
I was sooo nervous.
Because she has an accent. >_<
I'm used to french accents and some japanese accents.
That's about it .
Her's is Cree .
I had to concentrate really hard, but I just gave up
and look around the store.
His aunt didn't like the ice in the drink so she
used a spoon and put in it a coffee cup . xD
Then the ketchup, omg, the ketchup.
It's the class bottle that you let pour out like
salad dressing, not the squeezing bottle.
Ketchup poured all over her burger and
covered it.
Again, she used the spoon and put in the coffee cup .
Matthew just had to add to it with putting
colslaw as a topping on it. xD
Gross.
It was funny though.
So, she saw me crying on Mattchew's shoulder as
he was leaving. Embarassing.
so Now, I gotta see if she like thinks of me as wierd
or something before I feel okay bout going.
I'm at the uncomfortable stage right now .

Everyone has a weakness, but I have two.
Everything you say &&
everything you do .

I think I forgot to talk bout my sleeping episode
too .
I sleep walk and talk ,etc.
when I was at Matthew's on Friday, I think,
I fell asleep .
Well I guess I was talking.
I was mumbling.
He told me he kept asking, " WHAT are you saying ?"
over again, frustrated.
and then in the midst of it all ,
I said in a clear voice,
" I don't even know what I'm saying. "
LMAO .
That's funny .
>.<