I'm stuck with α smile thαt doesn't fit me αnymore.

Helloo people.

So, I'm bored, as you should be able to tell by now ( because of me writing in this ). Um, I don't really have anything to say , so I'm going to randomly talk about whats been happening, which basically means nothing. Oh, when I went on this, I saw that Tina ( The crummy world of Toast ) has been posting lately AND she stole my picture that I stole from Shiloh ( ShilohCatasrophe , or however you spell it. ). Um, like my picture ? I like it too , xD Kind of gay since I'm so used to having someone respond to me.

Okay, So.. At our school we have some international people, Ildephonso[Mexican] a.k.a Poncho, Marina[German] and Maximillian[German]. I hope I spelt their names right. Oh, well . They are in my classes atleast 2 times. They are only here for a year. It's cool ;D

I'm falling behind in my math, its really hard for me. I was in Applied then went up into Medium . Mr. Walsh said that the people that came from applied would have some difficulty, he was right. I'm thinking about dropping it . I want to try first though. >_>'

Religion is gay . I have Mr. Mayer again. Not the best person to have for a teacher, i mean , he bible thumps. -_-' ugh. BUT we are doing World Religions, so he cant preach...as far as I know. We finished watching the movie 'The Rabbit Proof Fence', which was gay . It's about white folks taking away half caste (Half white, half native) children. I didn't like it that much . We just started another movie with Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson, Unbreakable.

In Leadership, my group did... Grade 12 Day (Eating contest) and helped with Grade 9 fun day . I totally created the best activity for the grade nines in the gym; making the best outfit out of toilet paper. It was great! ... I don't like the people who are in the class though. So I'm beginning toregret taking it .

Foods class is great, except for 2 people who I already don't like. I'm in grade eleven and I'm in grade 10 foods class, okay ? So, like, I'm starting to realise who some grade 10s are. Some are a pain in the ass. There are 2 guys: Chris and Nick. Chris won't shut the fuck up, he always tries to get attention and doesnt listen to the teacher. Mr. McGlynn is a very patient and nice guy.. He's even getting fed up with Chris's shit. He's told Chris to get out multiple times, even though he stays. And then Nick, oh my god, i had him in the first group activity we did. I don't like him. He brags but he has nothing to back it up. He said, " Oh, I could cook this by myself" for the Curry we were making... He couldn't even chop the pork tenderloin right! He just pissed me off all day .

We just finished Terry Fox too . I never liked doing the pledging so I brought in the minimum amount: $10. Each leadership student (includes me, unfortunately) got assigned a class to instruct about themes and stuff. I got Mr.Purcells grade 10 class, which happens to have a lot of people from my foods class in it. No Chris or Nick though, that made me happy. Except Luke was in it. He's a creeeep . He's a decent guy just picks on me kind of.. not in a completely bully-like way though. He asks if I'm going to the NCC dance (Last thursday) and stuff. Anyway, our theme was Army! RFOH%#ETNG I HATED IT . I don't have any green. It was hard. I met the "crazy girl", Lexi. She's super nice.. and pretty. and shes like a miniture me, xD. Same story and everything. just prettier [ ->Low self-esteem<-].

Okaaaay, I think I done. xD

I know how it feels to think of the right thing to say.. too late.

Happy Birthday to Denson,

who's birthday was yesturday . ;D

α mαn is only αs good αs whαt he loves ,

No matter what people say,

I'm going to marry that boy someday.

I'm not that girl.

I'm not the girl who gets attached.

I don't like feelings, they're messy.

And I don't like being hurt.

Why did I let him get to me,

When I know that everyone always leaves?

Run your finger tips around my waist

I will make your body my favourite place to

travel, baby I'll be spending the night.

Because I can barely breathe

with your weight on my chest,

and

I'm so fucking sick of being ashamed of my own flesh.

My future depends on many

thing, but mostly on you.

++Frank Tyger

So let it be just you and me tonight;

tangled up in each others arms,

with fireworks exploding in our hearts.

You can spend the night beside her.

And you know that she's half crazy,

but that's why you want to be there.

You're not worth

putting myself in these situations.

She calls out to the man on the street,

he can tell she's been crying.

She's got blisters on the soles of her feet,

she can't walk, but she's trying.

It's funny how I found him,

he was everything I wanted and

nothing I've been looking for.

I wish there was something I could say,

to erase each and every page you've been though,

even though it's not my place to save you.

Remember about the plans that we made?

About getting married and where we would stay.

Do you still hope that we end up that way?

Something's been causing this pain.

I know its not real, it just feels that way.

How did things dramatically change?

Wishg things would've just stayed the same.

Don't you dare wake me up.

I don't want to wake up without you next to me.

I'm leaving because you never asked me to stay.

++Dawsons Creek

I made you a promise.

I had no idea it would be so hard to keep,

but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try.

++Stephenie Meyer

Life's disappointments are harder to take when

you don't know any swear words.

I think it's okay that you're the only one that gets me,

& I love how I can't breathe quite right as you

slowly whisper in my ear,
"Beautiful, you owe me a dance tonight."

I love this one. >_<, So cute. ;D

There were some things I wanted to tell him.

But I knew they would hurt him.

So I buried them and let them hurt me.

++Jonathan Safron Foer

When someone asks, "are you okay,'

I always say, "What really is okay?'

Are you prepared to hear my answer?
Most people can't even answer the first question.

&& ' ℓιke the brιghтesт sтαr, you shιne тhrough,

I will be your accident if you will be my ambulance.
And I will be your screech and crash,
if you will be my crutch and cast.
And I will be your one more time
if you will be my one last chance.

Oh, fall for me.







Hello , I know it's been awhile. I had no intention of quitting.. for the record - I thought I'd let you know. Um, I seen the movie Julie & Julia today and it kind of made me say " Hey, I forgot.. I should keep going. The thing is, my computer is extremely slow, it takes me an hour or so just to finishONE post. Yeah, horrible, I know.

So, if you haven't noticed, my formatting is different. I thought about that, too (OMG, I THINK). The way I did it before was quick and to the point annnnnnd seems very... unprofessional..I guess? This is way more pro, ahahhaa. xD.

Um, it's been a very long time. Since my mother stole my computer tower and has been using it, I haven't been on as much because she is usually on facebook doing Pet Society and/or Farm Town. She does these everyday for houuurrrsss, T_T. I don't understand. And my computer continues to go slower as more pictures are added to my collection, more music is downloaded and the computer isn't being restarted frequently by moi . Mum said I'm getting a new computer next week and stuff, but It'll probly be crap >_>. When - IF - I get it, i'll definitely blog more annnnnnnnnd probably watch more anime, do everything more. Facebooking too .

It's kind of wierd writing like this. It feels as if I'm writing a story. Maybe I should write one soon... WHERE AM I GOING TO INSERT THE QUOTES? AH. LAME. I don't know where to put the quotes on here. :/ I have an idea *Glowing light bulb gently floats above my head* I'll sometimes just put blogs full of quotes because I think that's probably one of the best things about this blog, other than the stories, that is. I'm just that lame and boring.

Um, this summer.. a lot has happened actually. I have a job now, Community Developement Council, it's called. It's different from any other job I can think of really. It was fun at the beginning - Bagging diapers, becoming friends with Ashley & Rachel, Helping with the Good Food Box, but then.. We started gardening. I hate gardening. After this, if anyone asks me to garden.. They are going to give me $15/ hour, or I'll refuse. I'm so pro at gardening now, it's scary.
Gerald is the guy we work under. Even though he volunteers, he's one of my boss's (the scarier one) husband. SOO, obviously I have to be a good girl. He calls himself the Master of the Universe. He always talks about his accident he has a few years ago, yknow? So.. unbelievable. Literally. It sounds fake. But I'm not going to argue. He says that he was so muscular and everything and huge for being five foot five. I can understand that, it happens. But then he talks about how Doctors say he shouldn't have lived.. but since he was so muscular and well built and stuff - he lived. Thats a bit overboard but.. okay. THEN the gaurdian angel thing comes in. He says that during his recovery he could actually see his gaurdian angel. Long blonde ish hair, white robe, etc. Everyone says that. After he said that, I just started nodding. blah. Ashley & Rachel are cool though. : D

So I havent really hung out with many people this summer - Johnny went to cadet camp for 6 weeks, and Meatloaf is working. Tina, I hung out with . : ) Um, Nicole or Alex .. nada. I hung out with Johnny & meatloaf though. We saw Julie & Julia Today. " This is as hard as a stiff cock. " ROFLCAKES. That's great, :) good movie.

And.. And Mattchew came down couple weeks ago on July 26th, a saturday. He stayed till tuesday night. I was so happy, I nearly cried. Seriously. I'm a creep, but yeah. And..and, I could hardly believe he was here. It was like a scene from a movie. It felt so ... right being with him. It was great. He dropped his bags at my house and we slowly walked to Wendy's to eat. I wanted a frosty,or was it a shake? I don't know but I wanted it even though I was full >_>. The cherry on top. I wanted it. But nooo, I didn't get it. He paid for like everything T.T ; Food, MOVIES. OH MY GOD THE MOVIES - We seen The Ugly Truth. It was HILARIOUS. The vibrating underwear was... GREAT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, :). He stayed in a motel after the first night when he slept at my house. It was fun. It was a nice room. We steamed up AND flooded the bathroom, xD. I enjoyed that a lot. The bed was comfy too, we ordered pizza and pepsi and just talked for a long time. :) There was even an AIR CONDITIONER - OMG ;D. It was fun. On the last night though, He wanted to leave at Seven pm instead of Nine pm. But I was extremely selfish and asked that he stayed for dinner and stuff. So he stayed for dinner then went to Dairy Queen to get the Banana Split we usually share.. together. It was nice, really nice. But then we went back and his bus was there. I promised I'd try not to cry, I promised. But.. he didn't. It was hard to see him leave, but I smiled. I wanted to cry to badly but he began "tearing" and I kissed him and reassured him :). It's nice to know I mean something to the person I love. It's nice to know he'll cry in public because he's leaving. I do miss him but he'll be back in 3-4 weeks, so I shouldn't be complaining, because after that, he's all mine. : ) I'm greedy♥.

He promised to bring me to the fair too, which is on the third to the sixth of september.
And yes, I do consider myself lucky. :)

Oh, and I think you should know that I get influenced by things pretty easily. Not people, things. and since I saw Julie & Julia.. I want to learn how to cook . >_> I asked my mum if she had any cookbooks. I want to try a little bit. I know I'll give up after awhile, but whatever. I have nothing else to do . ;D

There's thαt occαsionαl night where you just breαk down .

That happens to be my brother, Nik (Current Age: 19)
&& my little Nephew, Andre (current Age: 2)
[ I think that was taken around a year ago..]
Nik, when court was coming up so he can go in jail
( for unkown reason. xD),
he skipped to go to Edmonton.
Go him.
He is currently living in a garage.
He WAS living on the streets starving because
his "friends" ditched him and came back.
They took his clothes and everything.
I heard while eating ribs and corn for dinner
[ *grins* ribs... : D ]
He's going to British Columbia..
I forget why.
Anyway -
My nephew, Andre.. yeah, he has his one eye glued shut .
Who's fault?
TARA'S! That's right. Wooo, good guess.
It's sadd;
-

I miss you. I do. I love you.
evberyday, I wake up and have this ache in my chest,
and sometimes I just sleep in because I know
when I wake up;
you're not going to be there.
++ One Tree Hill

-

So, I REALLy haven't written in awhile.
Everyime I come on [ everyday ]
I'm all " AH! BLOG .............. later."
It's insane.
So, you may not know.. that i'm doing this workshop thing
in order to find a summer (maybe longer. : D) job.
Go, me.
I was one of the 70 that were picked.. out of a 100 and
something. Go, me. I'm tired.
Anyway, It's cool.
I met a boy named Nathan and.. this other kid,
I forget his name,
And Trevor from English class is there.
Horrible.
He keeps looking over, xD
Everytime I see him, I wave.
I can't help it.. he looks away so quickly. LOL
Um, Calvin, Mark Woodall, Jake (Ryans friend),
and I met a girl named Sherri.
Oh ans Trevor's friend, Danny.
woot friends. xD
-

You fall in love with someone because of
the tilt of his smile,
or because he could make you laugh,
or in this case,
because he made you believe you
were the only one who could save him.

-
I also have summer school . : /
My first day was today,
for academic english. :)
I have a huge package and am doing
grade 12 work, basically.
Not that I mind or anything.
But I want to write stories.
I want to write poems and express feeling,
since my art work doesn't show it that much .
>.>
I'm reading a book called Crabbe .
I told Mattchew and he reminded us
of our crab, Henry .
He's our "pet" STD.
We, obviously, don't have an STD.
But it's funny .
We joke around saying,
"How's Henry?" : D
Kind of wierd but it's great .
If it actually happened, I'd be like
WHOA. OMG STFU WTF BBQ.
Just kidding.
Marc wrote that on my picture today . xD
Funny.
-

Every man needs a woman when his
life is mess,
because the queen protects the king, just
like in a game of chess.

-
I'm bored.
I'll say the rest next time.
About toronto .
&& Gary getting angry at me,
nearly kicking my door down . : O

BAHH ; ♥
-

Music has become my therapy,
as you no longer want to listen.
you're shoulder no longer there to lean on.
you left me all alone with my headphones.

-

for everyone who thinks they know me, I forgive youu.

I forgot the stars on the jacket. Gawd, I suck.

Lenalee, I messed up on her face.

She's pretty. I wish I was , *sigh*

Allen Walker.
I should start watching it again maybe.
Starting from episode 50 ?

'You are the best parts of all the songs I love.

Hi. I'm bad,I know.
Stealing pictures from Shiloh & Bayley. >.>
I was going to put a picture of Shiloh on here,

of her in a red dress and converse.

It looks so great.
I didn't know it was her.

: O

I like this one too .
I also took some quotes from Bayley.
I like them .

Men aren't stupid, and you don't need a complicated set

of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here's the

only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything

he can to keep you around. ANYTHING.

I feel a bit better since he's gone.
I mean, I'm not breaking down or
crying in the hallway or anything.
I think thats good. xD

Um, I don't him not to visit in August

so he can save his money . : D
Yeah, it'll be lonely,
But I'll be working and will have money

too . Then, thenn, THEN . : O
We can, after searching for a place for

him to live, go out for dinner or lunch

or even breakfast. >_>
I'd probably have to drag him out of bed then .
: )
I hope he can convince Damian or Mike to come

down so it'll be easier for Matthew to live here.

Plus, I'm actually kind of curious about the

people he hung out with before he met me.

He talks about them a lot.
I want to meet them . ^_^

I want to talk to Mike SO badly

because of a situation.
Gawd; T_T
It bothers me that I can't talk to him.
I want to help but Matthew said he wasn't

suppose to tell anyone.
So I can't say anything. : /

*sigh*
I can't say anything on here either. Dx

I refuse to because I don't know if this counts.

I know I'm not the best for you, but promise you'll stay.

Cause if I watch you go, you'll see me wasting,

you'll see me wasting.

++ Secondhand serenade

So, I had 3 assignments due in english.

An essay, Lord of the Flies Study Question

and a creative assignment which also has to be

presented. I did all of them.

And even volunteered to present today . : D
I picked the one where you write 5-8 poems.
I made 5.
My friend Heather did the Diary entries.

blah.

I have to do 3 other assignments for history.

the Isu on Terry Fox [ I'm doing the essay right now.

The stampp is finished.. almost], A war letter [ half way through]
And a memorial project.. [ havent started. xD]
All due this Friday which is sooo lame. : /

Oh, And I'm drinking Dr. Pepper. lol

You get a little moody sometimes.
but I think that's because you like to read.

People that like to read are always a little fucked up.

I drew some more pictures today during careers

in my little sketch book .
D.Gray man pics.
I'll upload them on the computer now and
put them on here.
They aren't that good though since I didn't
use pencil first. : /
They are overhead markers I think .
anyway ,
* currently uploading*
That took 5 minutes. : D
.. It won't upload to this section.
So, I'll post it in the nest blog. : D
Which I'll do right after I'm done here.
woot.

There's people making babies to my music.
That's nice.
++Barry White

Oh and my mum had a talk to Gary
about mistreating me and stuff like that
because a bit ago I went to hand out resumes
and I don't her I hated him
and that i'm so moving out when i'm 16.
So she freaked out on Gary telling him
stuff like,
" I only have one child left!"
Meaning my sister being.. not alive
and my brother being fucked up with
the police and stuff.
and etc.
yep yep yep .

Anyway,
Essay time.♥

She had a history of killing herself,

I had a habit of dying.
I think she gave me something to live for,

I guess I helped her pass time.

'the worst thing is holding onto someone who doesn't wαnt to be held onto.

If you look closely at the picture.
On my right cheek .
There is a dark spot.
It's not a smudge on your screen ..
..It's my eyeliner that transferred off my hands. Dx
thought I'd let you knoww .

It's true, we don't know
what we've got until it's gone,
but we don't know
what we've been missing until it arrives.

So I finished watching a CSI.
It ended at 8pm.
About an old lady who was locked in
her closet, alive.
She died of dehydration I think they said.
Then Grissom [ ♥ ] and the team connected
that case with another one where
a 16-year-old girl gets gang raped.
She gets murdered at the end .
Tragic really .
Made me ponder about things .
I'm not telling .
It's embarassing . >_<

Cracks in the concrete are just
little reminders that you'll fall apart
no matter how strong you are .

Oh. Matthew phoned me last night.
annd anndd. *blushes*
>_____<
Other than the fact he loves me : D ;
He told me to go up to Timmins.
for a week or two, depending on what
my mum would say .
I hope my mum says yes.
I really want to see him for more than a couple days.
I want him to save money for an apartment too .
It would be so great.
When he invited me, I got so happy -
I think my heart skipped a beat.
But I don't know what his mother thinks of me .
I was too depressed to put anything on my blog
so I didn't write anything but,
The day he was leaving..
I woke up at 7am to bake cookies.
Around 8:30 or so , my mum and I
left to go to the pet store and the dollar store
to hold the cookies in for his trip .
I baked DOZENS of peanut butter cookies.
Anyway,
At his house, we talked.
I cried. He comforted me. I cried more.
Because I'm lame. ahaa .
So when his mommy [ Marjory ]
And his aunt came .
I helped him put his stuff in their goldish van.
They took me our for dinner/lunch at Northway .
It was really awkward.
I was sooo nervous.
Because she has an accent. >_<
I'm used to french accents and some japanese accents.
That's about it .
Her's is Cree .
I had to concentrate really hard, but I just gave up
and look around the store.
His aunt didn't like the ice in the drink so she
used a spoon and put in it a coffee cup . xD
Then the ketchup, omg, the ketchup.
It's the class bottle that you let pour out like
salad dressing, not the squeezing bottle.
Ketchup poured all over her burger and
covered it.
Again, she used the spoon and put in the coffee cup .
Matthew just had to add to it with putting
colslaw as a topping on it. xD
Gross.
It was funny though.
So, she saw me crying on Mattchew's shoulder as
he was leaving. Embarassing.
so Now, I gotta see if she like thinks of me as wierd
or something before I feel okay bout going.
I'm at the uncomfortable stage right now .

Everyone has a weakness, but I have two.
Everything you say &&
everything you do .

I think I forgot to talk bout my sleeping episode
too .
I sleep walk and talk ,etc.
when I was at Matthew's on Friday, I think,
I fell asleep .
Well I guess I was talking.
I was mumbling.
He told me he kept asking, " WHAT are you saying ?"
over again, frustrated.
and then in the midst of it all ,
I said in a clear voice,
" I don't even know what I'm saying. "
LMAO .
That's funny .
>.<

And I swear that you don't have to go .

He's gone .


I'm pathetic.

It's only been approxiamately

5 to 6 hours.

I miss him already .

" You think I loved someone else before you?
I wasn't even capable of love before I met you.

I was capable of heartbreak.

I never let anyone into my heart

enough to really have it broken too badly.

you're the only one who's ever, really,

been in my heart."

[ Bayley Turner ]

I'd be lying if I said losing you was something I could handle.

My new favourite song right now is my by
Mayday Parade called, " Three Cheers For Five Years "
I've been playing it over and over. And over.
Annnd, oh.
My mommy and I kept fighting this week.
About my homework and stuff.
I yelled back, of course.
I called her up to my room to get things over with.
Another fight started up.
Nothing was solved . : /

Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced .

Currently yawning.
I'm tired .
In school today .. Our periods were shortened.
They were 50-55 minutes each .
10 minute break still .
I couldn't hand in two assignments in English;
One being my ISU
[ BUT, I asked for an exstension a few days ago. ]
And my creative assignment on which Tina didn't
help me with.
Not fun.
Religion = Re-test.
I probably did um, HORRIBLY .
Everyone in the class had to do a re-test.
No one knew anything.
We kept asking for next week but nooooo,
Mr.Mayer gave it to us anyway . : /
lame.
BUT, I finished the test early and went to the
library to finish my history letter that was due
next period. Mr. McCabe.
I'm amazing.
.. Then lunch I saw Mattchew. : D
Of course. >.<>'Cause all these years that
her lungs have been breathing,
she's used her heart for
everything but beating.

Since today .. or yesturday.. is/was Friday
and the 2nd last day till Mattchew leaves me..
My mommy let me stay out till 12am.
It was great .
We went to the store.
I found out he has a fetish for chocolate chips.
Ew.
And we ALSO found out.. that his dip he planned
on using for his Ruffle chips.. Was suppose to be
refridgerated after opening it the first time.
Which was funny .
" I'll have the shits after this."
He said. He'll have the shits if the dip was bad. xD
I didn't get it at first.
Oopsiee.

He reached for her hand,
" I don't want to lose you. "
His voice was almost a whisper.
She could feel the tears again,
& she fought them back.
" But you don't want to keep me, either, do you?"
To that, he had no response.

I'm going to make cookies in the morning. : D
For Mattchew on the way home.
Annnnnd I get to meet his mom .
!!!
He almost made me cry in Rexall.
it was horrible.
I started tearing up and when he went
to touch me, I shoved him away . Dx
Sad isn't it ?
BUT, it was because if he touched me
I would've started bawling.
He's leaving tomorrow/ today .
At 4 or 5pm.
Happy? no .
Depressed? Not yet.
Going to be? Do I REALLY need to answer that ? : /
Talking to myself. Sort of.
I'm amazing.
AND
When Mattchew walked me home.
It was raining.
Dark. Spooky. Creepy.
It was SO hard to say bye.
When I closed the door I started crying.
I went to go to bed but then my mum
offered me the computer.
I said I'd only check my email but I ended
up doing this.
I got on around 12:30am.
It' 1:48am now. I'm slow.
And challenged.
I need friends. LOL

Truth is, I gave my heart away a long
time ago, my whole heart,
and I never really got it back .
[ Sweet Home Alabama ]

Mattchew needs to pack .
I need to sleep .
Gotta get up at 6:30am
to bake cookies and get things ready
for him to leave.
Happy, Happy. -___-'

Oh, and Tia got fixed.
Hahaa.
That's what she gets for being a little shit.
>_>'

I'm forgetting something but
I don't have time now.
Fill it in later.
Going to bed. Dx

& then you threw me up against the wall;←

Hi .
Um, there's SORT of lots to talk about.
i'm not going to use quotes because I'm
downstairs on the computer and I don't
have my quotebook with me .
I'll explain laaaaterr. Dx

[ → ]

So . Ryan (Henderson) got beaten up.
Which I find ... funny .
I feel bad about finding it amusing
but I really can't help myself .
Ryan threatened my friend Cassie and
a girl named Jessica Loveless
[ Best last name ever : ) ]
and then, out of nowhere,
12 people show up .
At first Ryan and Matthew
[ Who has nothing to do with it ]
were negotiating with the people.
But then later, when Matthew left
to go to the store, they beat the shit
out of Ryan.
The police were there and whatever by
the time Mattchew got back . : /
The door was kicked in AND they
stole Ryans laptop . xD
So now he's all paranoid about being alone.

Before Matthew walked me home at 10pm today
He was pretending to have a panic attack .
his step-father died today .
And he kept saying he sees his ghost and stuff.
[ I just hit my mum in the face. xD not hard though,
"thank god. " ]
He is such a creep .

[ ← ]

I.. I heard that racoon thing.
I previously talked about in another blog.
I was doint the blog.
Then I heard the growling and it scared me.
Not like - Jumping in the air, scared.
My eyes started to tear up.
I told Mattchew
"I hear it again.
It lives in my backyard MATTHEW!
It LIVES THERE
I HEARD IT GROWLING AND EATING OR SOMETHING"
And he replied by stating the already known fact that
I am, indeed, "screwed."
But I asked him why he thought that and he wouldn't
tell me..
when he did he said,
"i mean your screwed because of that big bug?"
Because ouside arounf 11pm, there was
this large month-like bug and we were
both jumping all over the place.
So, I asked,
"You thought I was talking bout the BUG ? -.-' "
Clearly. He did .
That's sad .
But.. I'm going to be jumping for the next
couple days.
I have to go to bed right now, too .
going to Toronto to help clean my Grandpa's house.

[ → ]

So, the computer thing.
Yeah -> mom's computer hard drive got FRIED
so she's using mine.
Which means
- I won't be on as much.
- I'll be really bored. all the time .
- I'm going to have to listen to her complain when I want to go on.
[ Love you, Mom... ]
- I won't be able to talk as much .
-DEPRESSING because..
- NO ANIME. AH .

BUT.. I'll be stalking the phone more .
bwahaha ;

[ ← ]

I think thats it .
The arrow thing is pretty cool, eh ?
You want to know?
Too bad.
Magicians never reveal their secrets.

[ → ]

OH btw .
I watched " the Boy in Striped Pajamas"
In religion.
SO SAD .
It was an alright movie, though.
Some people were crying at the end, even
though this movie isn't the kind that you
really cry at.
It was too... short, really .
When Mr. Mayer went to turn on the lights
he stopped and said forget it .
I THINK THATS THE NICEST THING HE HAS EVER DONE .

[ ← ]

&& Mr. Cassidy.
I hate him.
he kicked me out of class because I was
getting my assignment for history.
lame.
I had him for, like ,3 times ..
in the past week or so .
UGH .
I wished for him to retire but then I realised
he already is retired. : /
Just - Stop working!!!
*face palm*

Flying is learning to throw yourself at the grounnd && missingg . : D

I like this picture.

It's great.

The guy isn't that pretty though. : /

thats a bit.. meh .

Um, I have a new favourite website.
it's great.
www.fmylife.com
I think I'm annoying Mattchew with it,
but hopefully he'll bare with it.
Until I don't like it anymore .
I've read 29 pages of Sex misfortunes.
Really funny.
I signed up for it, too . : D

There comes a time when you look in the mirror
& realise that what you see is
all that you will ever be .
And then you accept .
Or you kill yourself .
Or you stop looking in mirrors .

I don't really have anything to talk about.

So, yeah .

oh, Um.. Shiloh has been sending

me new songs.

So I got more Mayday parade and

bands I have never heard of .
But I like them .

If we threw our problems in a pile
and saw everyone else's,
we would quickly grab ours back .

So, Shiloh invited me to this thing
last night.
I just remembered when I was
talking about never hearing of
them.

She invited me to this cafe

downtown called

Organic Underground.
Bands play there. Not, like

stupid old bands or whatever..

I mean bands that are emo or punk

and stuff.
If you have a band, you can play there.

so Shiloh made me go because

Joshie's band [ Hero for the Weak]

was going to play .

But the whole, she was basically crying

because Joshie's girlfriend was there.

And he was basically snubbing her .

I told Shiloh, it was obvious that

it was going to happen. Because

Ashley [ Joshie's girlfriend ] knew

that Joshie likes Shiloh.

and Ashley is jealous.

Meh .

So Shiloh dragged me with her to take

a walk, so she can basically bawl her

eyes out and eat Dorito's, while I

attempt [ Not really . ] at cheering

her up .

Thennn .....

Shiloh & I had to go to the bathroom

and she said to meet her at the table,

but I couldn't GET to the table..
So I just figured I'd go for a walk .

I stood near the closed bus station for

awhile..
& then sat down in market square;

looking for someone to ask for a quarter.

It really pissed me off how we have to pay

50 cents for a phone call that would last,

like, 15 seconds.

Honestly.

Well, anyway .
I was crying the whole time.
Because I'm so stupid that if the tiniest

thing goes wrong. I cry.

I'm pathetic like that . Seriously.

I got 25 cents from a little oldish lady

and I phoned Mattchew.

I tried not to cry, so he wouldn't rush

over, but once I heard his voice..
it was really hard.

I had to put my hand over the mouthpiece,

where I spoke, to muffle some.

But he still heard it and he came.

Quick .

I keep apologising because I feel bad.

Like.. REALLY bad .

Of course, I knew that he would think

crazy thoughts. Like me being raped.

I didn't think of that .
I just wanted to see him right there

when I was depressed and..

and.. I don't know.
I was settling down till I saw him.

I started bawling again.

My make-up was shit.

I tried fixing it before he came;
But didn't work.

He had to fix it for me .

Then I went back to Shiloh and told her

I was going to get food to eat and that
I'll be back by 10.

Went to Mattchew's and had food.

We talked it over slowly and he cheered

me up .

I'm really happy that I was able to talk to him.

It made me really happy . : )
And even though I called him over for some-

thing stupid.

He was still there .

So, I'm glad.



I said it in past tense.
But I don't know how to say it in present tense.
It kinds.. got messed up near the end.
Forgive me, xD!
I love you, Mattchew♥
It rhyms.

Too lazy to look in my quote book for a decent quote. bah .

I look horrible.
But I didn't feel like putting the picture
of me pretending to threaten Meatloaf
with the end of the sign .
So, Pro-Life, hmm .
[ March for Life . ]
So, like - It was on
Thursday, May 14th. 8:30am-7pm
Took 3 flippin hours to get to Ottawa
and another 3 hours back .
Meatloaf kept complaining
saying he'll miss lessons for his
bass guitar thinger .
.. dude - I think the guy will understand..
..y'know, since, it was do with SCHOOL ;
anyway .

I was talking to Meatloaf..
And literally walked into a METAL sign .
I have a bruise from it, sort of .
It hurts but the skin isn't like, yellow or
purple or anything yet .
yet - ><
Meatloaf told me not to feel bad since
he hit his head off his mailbox that morning.
I think he should have been the moron of
the day in his blog .
HE COULD SEE THE MAILBOX.
I didn't know the sign was there .
Thanks, Meatloaf.
BUT, you'll be the imbecile of the day
on my blog . xD

It rained, too .
Made me miserable.
NOT TO MENTION. [ omg. ]
A group of people kept singing the same
damn song over and over again for the
walk, which lasted about an hour,
too many old people.

We are the pro-life
[we are the prolife]
The mighty, mighty pro-life...

GAHHSRK:HS:RHJNRS
I just wanted to kill them with an
abortion sign and say ,
" Abortion kills people. "
xD amused.

Every night, you smile in your sleep.
But, who am I kidding?
You're not thinking of me .

I'd like to point out that
I may be blond;
But I got all my brains from my
mother.
-> She just realised there is a little
chat box on facebook to talk
to people who are online.
That's kind of sad.
><

One night, the moon said to me,
" If he makes you cry, why don't you leave him?"
I paused for awhile then
I looked back at the moon
and said... " Moon, would you
ever leave your sky ?"

Um .
I have 3 ISU's to do .
I'm sad.
I have Religion .
[ Poster, brochure, reflection, questions.. ]
I havee.. history .
[ Information poster on some random famous person.]
And academic english.
[ 1000-1200 word essay for my book " Secret Life of Bees " ]
Plus little assignments like, Romeo & Juliet Act assignments
for Enligsh because i'm getting a 54 .
I didn't hand in 5 assignments.
In history I didn't hand in two things. : /
World War One war letter and a memorial thing .
Blah.
I don't know if I'll do the little assignments or not .
I'm getting a 42 in religion so far.
On my last report card atleast. *cries*

Stranger things have happened;
Stranger things have been loved.

I'm falling asleep here .
OH .
Me and mattchew.
Want a tatoo .
He's all :
" We should get a picture of two dandilions
and have it say ' no matter how many times
you stomp on me; I'll be here tomorrow.' "
But, no way .
For a tat ? LOL
But.. then again.
Mine is kind... woooOOoOoOooO, too . lol
I said,
" We should have a bleach detergent thing and
under it, it can say ' We're a big fan of bleach.' "
Because Matthew and I love the anime,
Bleach . So I thought it would be funny
but he basically said it was lame.
*cries*

Once upon a time, I was falling in love,
but now, I'm falling apart .
[ Total Eclipse of the Heart. ]

I may write story soon .
So, yeah .
& I feel like I'm not talking bout something.
But I forget.
Oh, other than :
Shiloh & I are going to a live thingy tomorrow
at Organic Underground. : /

Bands. Blah .

So yeah .

Long weekend, too .

Monday is off .

Fearing a man is a joke. I believe that if he can breathe, then he can choke .

Hi .
Um, I know it's been awhile.
A long time, really . xD
I attempted to create a post before this
but when I tried to save,
it didn't, I guess.
Well, I can't find it anywhere.
*face palm*
I have gum [ Stride- Forever Fruit. ]
& I had pepsi . Gone now.
Tragic, really .

Who said that
it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never
loved at all .
[ Boys like Girls. ]

I don't remember what I was going
to say on my last post ;
But whatever. I'll continue as if
I did one before anyway .
Tina is an idiot.
for doing drugs.
Go her .
When she see's this she's going to be mad.
But Tina, Let me say this straight out :
" If you continue to use drugs, you can
have fun WITHOUT me .
Because as far as I'm concerned,
people who do drugs are just wasting
their life away .
I don't need people like that near me ."
Basically .
You can brag about the stupid moments
you had or whatever;
[ I'm glad you had fun. ]
But, eventually I just won't care.
You have fun with that .
You're not impressing anyone. trust me.

We could pack up, leave our things behind.
No fact, or fiction or storyline.
I need you more than just for tonight.

Meatloaf is an idiot too .
And Johnny.
Meatloaf because he hugs to hard
and squeezes me till it hurts.
Which, by the way, he won't be doing
anymore 'cause I told hiom I don't
want him touching me.
And Johnny because I hate him.
I tell him everything and he acts
like he doesn't CARE .
I should, just, stop talking to him
about anything.
And I could.
If he read this he would say that I couldn't
not talk to him.
But I can now because I have Matthew and..
other random people online.
and in the summer I'll make new best friends..
While Matthew is gone and.. *cries*

Sometimes I wish you would pay more
attention to my favourite songs
because the lyrics they sing are
the words I am scared to say .
[ Paramore ]

It rained today .
I don't like rain.
But nor do I hate it .
I wish I was little again.
So much easier than now, with school
and family issues.
HA! And my obsession over my brother.
Geez; that is so embarassing.
Oh, and my two puppy's :
Charlotte and Lucy.
So cute.
But then my dad gave them away or
whatever and told me they ran away .
I found out later from my brother
that Dad gave them to Pet Cetra or
something like that . GEEZ .

The night we met,
my mouth said, " Nice to meet you."
my heart said, " Oh, I've found you. "

I asked Meatloaf to do my English
comparison paper because I was too lazy .
I asked Shiloh, but of course, she said no .
He did it on Full Metal Alchemist.
I got a 70% .
Woot. >.>

There's a few things that I need you to know.
Like the way I felt when we were close,
& how the stars explode everytime you are near.

Today is Mr. Bunton's birthday .
Mr. Burchat [ Mr.Bunton's bro-in-law]
came in during class with a mini cake
and a present.
when Mr.Burchat said,
" How old do you think Mr. Bunton is ? 53 ?"
Mr.Bunton started chuckling, looking at
his brother saying, " Fuck you..."
The whole class laughed their asses off.
Mr.Bunton is not the type of person
you'd ever see saying that .
Anyway, When he open the present
[ After Mr.Burchat left. ]
and saw that it was chocolates, he commented
saying, " Great. Another thing to fatten me up . "
It was great.

Maybe Cupid should shoot himself
with his own damn arrow - then,
maybe, he'd see how much
love hurts .

Mattchew is leaving. Most likely.
Definitely... *face palm*
He was telling me earlier aboooouuut.
Um, hold on. I gotta remember. >_<
* 10 seconds laterrr; *
Oh, if he's leaving.
He'll be in Timmins by a Sunday, I think .
and he'll start work the day after.
Which, kind of, sucks.
But since he's a work-a-holic.
I don't mind.
It's his choice, right ? : )
UM, he said he'd visit me in June.
and maybe a second visit before he comes
back in August.
But I told him no .
Because with him coming back, even though I
know he's going to timmins again, it will be hard
when he actually leaves.
For the both of us.
As much as I'd love it..
It would hurt too much . A lot, really .
I don't like it .
So, during summer I'm probably going to hide in
my room so then he doesn't have to worry about
me falling for someone else.
Swimming is a whole different story though.
I look horrible in a bathing suit -
So I don't think he has to worry bout it; xD .
Oh, plus: I should be pre-occupied with
a job, too . ^_^
GASP. What if I meet Jordan again ?!
THAT WOULD BE SO AWKWARD .
Meh. Tina; If I see him.
I'll give you his number, so you can
call him. Kaii ? lol

When my tears fall,
they will fall on the lips you once kissed .

March for Life is coming this Thursday .
Skipping school to go to Ottawa to
support the right to life.
woot.
Skipping school...
Skipping school...
Skipping schoooool...

And Mr. Mayer told his UFO and
The pig story.
Not even worth mentioning, except the fact
that in the UFO story.. Someone asked
if he believed in aliens and he responded,
" Of course. I believe in God, don't I ?"
That is insulting to your holy ghost,
Mr. Mayer. LMAO .
And the piggy story.
Omg, he said the word "tits" more than
ever heard in my life. xD

Anyway, I'm ending this. it's too long.
Byee; ♥

ιt's lιke the dιfference between looking good & feelιng good .

Wee . Hi .

Haven't written in awhile, I guess.

So I made another story.

And just got off grounding.
I was a bad girl .
And I found out lots of schools..
They have condoms in the principles office

and stuff so students can take them .
" Having sex in high school is inevitable so may as well be safe," right?
True, true.

Anyway , Here ;

-------------------------

Her tongue has bitemarks from all the things she didn't say .

-------------------------
Three years.


For three years, I have stares at him, wanting him o love me as much as I love him.

I first met him in grade four. I just transferred to a new school and he was the first friend I made. He scared me. I never once seen him cry or frown. He was the only person I considered truly happy.

As months passed, we beame closer. Everyday we were together, either at my house or his. Without realising it, I looked at him as if he was my brother I never had.

Six weeks later, I discovered his house empty, his lawn cleared of statues and toys and he didn't tell me anything. There weren't any clues, either. There was nothing.

When I was finally getting over the fact he was really gone, he entered my school in grade seven. He was back. After two and a half years, he came back .
----
I'm in grade ten now and I still don't know why he left, though he's still with me. I love him but I don't think I could ever tell him. I don't think he'll ever feel the same way I do .

Ever since he came back, I've been sp happy but we could never be together. He's popular and handsome.. and me ? I'm that girl you meet several times and you still can't remember her name.
----
I waddle through the hall, depressed, not able to dodge the crowd of happy things rushing past me, hitting my shoulders. I sigh and rub my eyes.

A firm hands grasps my shoulder and turns my body around. I see him. He grins and begins talking about his last class. My hearts melts as I watch him, barely listening.

" And then she looks at me and - My God! She's beautiful! " He yells and my heart freezes over.

" What... ?" He likes a different girl ? Of course.. He'd never look at me .

" I don't know her name yet, but I might ask her out." He ruffles his hair, "I'm goin' to class. See you."

I nod slowly, speechless.

I can't even pretend he's mine anymore.

" You idiot!" I scream down the hallway, hoping he hears me. Everyone looks my way and tears run down my cheeks. This is so frustrating ...

Three weeks later, he is walking with her down the hall. The only thing I can think about is how they looks so amazing together. And how I don't fit anywhere .

He walks up to me, waving back to the girl as she makes her way down the stairs. "Hey." He examines my face and frowns for the first time ever. " What's wrong ?"

I shouldn't tell him.

I can't tell him.

" Hey, tell me ! " He touches my shoulder, nudging me lightly. I slap his hand away, keeping my focus on my shoes.

" Don't touch me ." I barely speak .

" What are you talking about? What's wrong with you ?" His voice gets louder, more fierce. " Look at me! "

I continue staring at the ground .

" Why won't you look at me ?!"

" Leave me alone! I hate you! I never want to see your face again! Never! " I scream back and stomp away, angry.

I never thought anything bad would happen. If I knew, I never would have said anything .
----
The next morning, I heard he died. When he got home, he immediately locked himself in his room .hen he got home, he immediately locked himself in his room. His mom found him laying on his bed, his wrists slit open with the knife gently set beside him.

In third period, I was called down the to office to speak with his mom.

" He talked about you all the time." She said between sobs, " He left a note. I don't think it was directed to you but - It's about you. Please read. " She handed me the letter and blew her nose in the kleenex.

I loved her, mom .

I really did, but I could never tell

her. I was afraid. So afraid I'd be

rejected. I couldn't tell her how I felt.

She told me she hated me, mom.

I can't live with that. I love her .

I love you, too, mom.

I'm sorry .

I gasp for air, tears overwhelming me. The lump in my throat grows bigger as I attempt to fight back my need to cry. I gasp for air, tears overwhelming me. The lump in my throat grows bigger as I attempt to fight back my need to cry.

The boy that I loved for so long, loved me back. The boy that I loved for so long.. died becaise I didn't tell him how much he meant to me.

This boy, I love, could have been mine .

[ Note: The next blog.. is actually below this one.
Blogger is just being gay . : D ]

It hurts the most when you're the one who broke your heart;

This is the only picture I like right now.
Thats on my computer.
Because I'm at school.
Go, me .
...
I'm in Religion.
I don't know what to do because I
wasn't here yesturday .
I was at loyalist.
It was great .
I'll go step by step since the last blog
I did.. On what I did and stuff, kaii ? ^.^

And every night he cries.
He lies awake to realise
he's nothing without you .

Um, Yeah.. >.>
Hmm,
I don't remember .
... I got in trouble by my mom the other day .
I came home from Matthew's and
she was coming down the stairs from
just waking up .
I was telling her that she needs to stop drinking
Pepsi and she started bitching at me .
I stormed out, left to Matthews.
Stayed out past my curphew till 9pm.
But she didn't get mad .
Because apparently she already knew
I was going to do that .
Anyway, I'm bored talking bout this.
Let's talk bout something else .

You didn't love her because
you don't destroy people you love .

There is a new girl at our school.
She is in my history class.
Her name is Shay, I think .
I don't plan on making friends,
so I didn't really talk to her .
She's tall, her hair is brown and
is put up nicely. : )
Erm, She's kind of.. large .
She reminds me of Elyse .
[ Is that how you spell her name ?]
Elyse Cook.
[ Ugh, I saw her brother at... I don't remember .]
They are unproportioned..
Average legs and stuff but from the
waist up.. is larger .
Doesn't look right.
But ah well .

Sometimes I feel like nobody has held me
down & forced me to cry, or made me
hug them, or seen the inside of me .
I just say, " Oh, I'm fine." & walk away.
Nobody has ever said to me,
" No. you're not. "

[WARNING; ANIME CONVERSATION. ]

Hachaa.
Oh, oh, oh.
Kate & I were talking bout Shugo Chara.
How our favourite characters are
Ikuto and Amu.
I told her how I like it when Yaya
[ Another character from S.C.
She's more child-like. Her egg or whatever is
a baby with a big.. rattle. xD ]
calls Amu.. Amu-chii . : D
It's great .

She sits in the corner
singing herself to sleep;
Wrapped around promises
that no one seems to keep .

I have Pepsi.
From yesturday .
But it's still yummi.
... Thought you should know.
& today is Civies day .

& she didn't know what she
wanted, she only knew who and that
was the boy that broke
her heart .

I have to go and attempt to
do a Religion attempt.
Byebyee ; ♥

[ Note: This is done on.. April 30th, 2009.
But since I saved this as a draft on the 24th or
whatever.. I guess it decided it goes BEFORE
The one on the 28th ( the one above this. ) ]

ιt hurts thε most whεη you'rε thε oηe who brokε your hεαrt;

Does anyone believe in fate these days?
I mean, anyone .
It's kind of far-fetched isn't it ?
" What is meant to happen, will happen."
Obviously .
them fortune tellers.
Blah.
LIES .
I just think our choices make our future
without, like, the whole:
Your future is already made
type thing .
In Loveless, it speaks about how his
fighter [ destined partner ] is out there
and how they connect buy a red
string-looking thing .
Kind of cool .
Just because it's in loveless. lol ; : D

She thinks I'm crazy, judging
by the faces she's making.
And I think she's pretty.
But pretty is just a part of everything
she does that amazes me .

I handed out resume's today .
Pizza Hut, Burger King, Wendy's, KFC/Tacobell,
Harvey's, Bookstore, Jumbo video,
and there is one more but I don't remember.
Anyway, it was funny.
I was so happy when I gave my resume to
Pizza hut [ First place I went to. ]
But Matthew was grumpy still .
BLAH .
Oh, yeah.
He was with me btw. : D
He helped me with a couple applications.
Go, me .

When a girl hates you the way she hates you,
it means she likes you.
That's basic kindergarden phsycology .

I'm itchy.
and I have a pimple on my chin.
Ugh.

Oh, yesturday I couldn't wear any make-up
because I was stupid
and told Matthew I wouldn't.
And I didn't.
Wear any .
It was sad.
Verrry tragic, really .
All day, I was totally on gaurd.
I was ready to attack .
But people still thought I was wearing
make-up . Creepers .
Obviously I wasn't.
My skin looks gross and my eyes are HUGE .
Ah well .

"Do you remember when you were a
little kid and you wanted toy
really bad when you went to the
store
but your mom wouldn't let you
get it, no matter how much you
begged? Well, thats how I feel about
you. " - Me reciting a quote.
"You better not get taken back for a
refund." - Mattchew♥

Um, I'm cold .
And have old age spots.
Ahhahhaa .
I should get my--
Can you put botox in your ass ?
I'm curious.
I asked my doctor but I forget
what he said .
I think he said, " Maybe,
but people usually don't do that . "
Or something.
I don't know.
I'll ask him again next time .
Speaking of Doctor..
I skipped Friday to go there.
But noooo, they were closes and my mum
didn't have the car, so we had to go in
Taxi . [ Third time being in one. ]
She wasted $30 on nothing!
I wanted to ask Dr. Reid if
Birthcontrol can cause risk for
pregnancy . The priest says it does
but I want to verify it .
And something else but I don't
remember.
: /

It is not the kiss itself,
but the moment right before the lips
touch, that leaves you speechless .

I have new pictures of Matthew.
Being silly .
With my Twilight poster above my bed.
Did I say I switched my room around a
couple weeks ago ?
I don't remember, but I did .
Annnnnnnd,
it looks better than before.
Annnnnnnd,
The last blog, before this, I did
I don't remember.
I think I was half asleep .
I remember bits and pieces.
I remember the convers and laughing
about it . But,
I don't remember putting it in my blog
all that much .
Sorry, Dentsu . : D
But I'm kind of happy I did .

The spaces between our fingers were
made so another persons fingers
could fill them♥ .

Alright, I think I am done .
It's 9:37pm.
And my mum will tell me to get off soon.
Because that is what moms do .
: /
So I love everyone who reads this.

Oh! Wait!
Tina;
We still have to talk about the blog
we are going to make together.
We keep forgetting.
And we have history together,
that is kind of funny.
Lame, though.
hahaa , : )


♫' I ℓove you so much, мαттcнεω♥


Let's slow dance
& be the couple
Everyone wishes they could be . <3

ι would rαthεr fιght wιth you thαn mαkε lovε to somεonε εlsε♥.

Hello .

Jeannine's laundry service;

What's your favourite colour ?
I used to pick up the phone and say that .
Some people would say,

" Sorry wrong number."

Which was really funny.

Or.. They would just skip to the point.
" Is Jeannine ( Or Vicky.. or Gary..) There ?"

I'd have to repeat it and say louder..
" What's your favourite colourr???"

Friend got used to it after awhile and answered

their favourite colour.

My mum banned me from doing that .

I liked it.
Still do . Meaghan sort of made it up .

Ahhahhaa. I'll take the credit. >_>

Thought I should bring that up .

Ahahaa.

You are the answer to

every prayer I've offered .

You are a song, a dream, a whisper,

and I don't know how I could live

without you for as long as I have .

I love you, more than you

can ever imagine.

I always have and always will .

[ The Notebook . ]

SEE THAT MATTHEW ?
Blah.

I love you.

More than anything. Ever.

If that made sense.

We've already planned our future together

It would be a waste to just throw it away.

If we fall out of love..

Trust me, we'll fall back in.

As long as you love me,

I will always love you.

The toothfairy teaches children

that they can sell their body parts for

money.

I blame her for prostitution.

I think I have a pimple below

my left eyebrow. Oo

That would kind of suck .
Since it's so sensitive there.

arg .

I'm hungry, too .

Ahhahaa,
I popped Mattchew's "tumor"

on his ear lobe.
It was HUGE.

It was actually a pimple.
I'm never going to get over that .

Never.

So my pimple..

Wait- Maybe it's just swollen

because of.. something ? Oo
Misquito?
Are they even out yet ?

Maybe I hit my eye off a wall or something.

Could have happened without me

realising it, I think . xD

Maybe.

He acts like he doesn't give a fuck .

But we all know he's falling apart

without her smile .

[xD Denzu:
"Mr.McCallum just admitted

he doesn't have a life;

So , I'm happy. xD"

lol wtf

THat's funny and sad at the same time >.>
Me:
INDEEEED .
xD Denzu:
xD

This is your teacher?

Lol nice role model xDD
Me:
I know .He's a pedophile .
xD Denzu:
...well

ow

what the hell

ANd everyone knows this? xDD
Me:

.. probly not .
xD Denzu:
cry out pedophile

and see if he responds

It works...I've never tried

But I think it works]

One day I will . One day . xD

Children seldom misquote you,

in fact, they usually repeat

word for word what you shouldn't

have said.

[Denzu:
Getting ready to move

So I've been packing for the past 2 weeks
Me:
ooo.. inside your town or city.. or.. like, diff town/city/country ?
Denzu:
Either staying here in TN

Or Atlanta, Georgia
Me:
TN ?
Denzu:
Tennesee
Me:

ooo, right.i forgot .
Denzu:
lol np

Canada right?
Me:

mhmm
I am one of those idiots who do say, " EH?" btw. lol
Denzu:
XDD

That's awesome lmao

Accents ftw xP
Me:

accents ?
Denzu:
Well

Isn't that a Canadian accent?

Or am I wrong T_T
Me:
no . lol

its not an accent.

LOL
Denzu:

XDD

Whever

I call it an accent

So it is T_T ]

I like escalators cause
escalators never break.
They just become stairs.

And mαybe I wish you would cry yourself to sleep, just once, like I did for you so mαny times.

So..
I was failing Civics with a 40%
And I'm slowly handing things in so I can atleast pass .
I have Career Studies now .
I have Mr. White.
He seems decent.. for now .
Everyone keeps saying "he's annoying",
"thinks he owns the school", and that he's full of himself.
But whatever.
I'll see .

I should have been brave enough to
ask your name,
Instead of screaming, " I cannot contain my lust! "
Now you probably think I'm a creep.

So, I was just saying goodnight/ good-bye to Matthew,
and, like, on the way down the stairs I heard my mum
talking to him bout something.
I asked what was going on..
And she said for him to stay on
lit up streets.
Apparently the cops [ oink oink . >_< ]
are looking for someone.
She said that she knows because they only
put on all of their lights when they are looking for
someone.
And when Matthew and I were out there,
I saw a car back up in my neighbors
parking lot.
& someone out there with a flashlight.
Clearly, it's the police . : /
So, I banned him from the hill .
AND I told him to call me when he gets home.
If he doesn't.
He's not coming over tomorrow.
humph. >: [

Charm is a way of getting the
answer " yes " without having
asked a clear question♥ .

Um, Yeah..
I have to go to bed now.
Oh, wait--
A bit more. : D

Matthew was tired today
and grumpy. Kind of funny.
Tried to refrain from laughing.
He cheered up a couple hours before
he had to go though.
So, I'm happy.

Star light, Star bright;
make this heartbreak end tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might;
Get over this boy & give up the fight.

Terry broke up with Ben .
GASP .
Terry thinks Ben is an asshole.
...gasp.. >_>
She told Ben that she still loves her
Ex boyfriend, Cameron.
True, but she still broke up with him
because he's an ass.
Ahahhahaa. Funny .
Um, He kind of is. Sorta.
: / damn .

And it's a sad picture.
The final blow hits you.
Somebody else gets what you wanted again.

It doesn't mαtter who, when or where.. You cαn αlwαys use α hug.

Matthew sleeping.
You gotta admit. This picture is really cute. : D


























I'm going to bed. *sigh*
Get better, Mattchew♥
I love you.

αll I wαnted wαs α fαiry tαle ending,

Kai, This is a reply to Tina's blog.
Sorta.
She doesn't know it yet.

Until she sees the comment I left on her last blog .

Anyway , I said near the beginning I'd put stories in.
I want to write a scene with vampires in it right now.

Because I still love vampires♥.

I'm wearing the Twilight shirt right now.
WIEEEERD .

----------------------

I think I could fix myself; If I knew I was broken.

I wonder the streets, scared and queasy, wrapping my arms tightly around myself. My breath becomes steam in the icy air and my cheeks are red. The street is dark and filled with rats crawling over garbage. I step further into the alley and groan. The air pushes me, forcing my blond hair to blind me. I'm scared.

" Megan, listen to me. I need your help. You know I love you, right ? And we're definitely best friends..." I can hear Laura's voice echoing in my head, " Ever wonder if vampires exist, Megan? I have.. and I don't want to go alone. Come with me! Please!"

I step on a branch and freeze. Looking down, I sigh in relief but suddenly hear footsteps. I whip my body around quickly, but not fast enough. Hands grip my wrists and throw me to the wall. My mind becomes blank as I listen to the hissing from in front of me. I blink hard, open my eyes slowly and peer down at the sharp yellow eyes staring me down.

" Hi?" I ask, my voice shaking.

Hi ? What kind of idiot are you ? I think .

" Hi." The voice mumbles back .

It speaks!

" How are you?" I begin.

He grunts and mumbles something I don't understand. I shuffle my feet as I feel the beads of sweat trickle down the sides of my face. I decide to make an attempt, " D-Do you mind.. Letting my wrists go?" I close my eyes, hard.

The pressure on my wrists disappear. I open my eyes in surprise and stand straighter, watching the boy with yellow eyes. He grunts again, looking towards the ground. I rub the uncomfortable spots, slowly and examine him. His dark hair, dark coat with very little detail, and his pale face made him, sort of, attractive. I've never seen such pale skin. And his yellow eyes pierce through me like he can see everything.

I remember Laura's words again, as if she's standing beside me, "Go to this alley. Apparently, many appearances have been made there. I'll try and meet you there." I freeze.

My mouth gapes open. This boy???

" Boy, How old are you?" I ask without thinking, without realising the danger I could be in if he's a vampire. Or angry, for that matter.

" Seventeen." He speaks, clearly this time. Suspicious.

" .. How old are you?" I say it differently this time, my voice stronger.

" Seventeen. " He pauses slightly. " You know, don't you?"

" Know, what ?"

He steps closer to me. I step back against the wall and smooth my hand out against the cold, wet brick. His hand slaps the brick beside my head and his face comes closer. The brick cracks. I can feel his breath against my face. A sweet scent. " I'm a vampire, of course."

I gulp. I didn't think he would say that so bluntly.

" You already knew that, though, didn't you?" His voice starts to sound terrifying. I start to deny but he shakes his head, his yellow eyes brighter, " You're lying. I can hear your heartbeat, you know. "

He leans in, slowly and kisses me.

His soft, yet cold, lips against mine feels so right. I close my eyes. He slides his tongue into my mouth and out. It feels good. I kiss back. He begins to get more aggressive. My eyes shoot open and I push him away. Oh my god. Oh my god.

He inches back towards me and puts his hands around my waist. He brushes his cheek against mine and whispers in my ear, softly. " I want you. " He leans down, licks my neck and moans slightly. I hear the hissing sound again.

He bites me.

-----------------------

Matthew is sleepin.
So cute. : D

Btw, when he says that she's lying and speaks

bout her heartbeat.
When people lie, their heartbeat gets faster.

True story.
I learned it on CSI .
I never thought I'd use that useless information, though.

hahaa, : )